Module 12 - Sharing your journey - Kia ngātahi te haere

Your pain not only affects you, but those around you who love and care about you. 

This module explores ways you can communicate with each other in a helpful way. Here is a brief introduction to this topic Introduction to the sharing the journey module

In this module:

• Your pain has an effect on pain on others around you
• Helping others to help you
• How communication can help you manage your pain 

Being in pain can impact on the way you communicate. You may struggle to find the right words to let others know what they can do or how they can help.  Watch Barbara explain the role of communicating to make living with pain easier for yourself, as it helps others around you. More about pulling it all together

Your pain affects those that care about you. This document explores this and some helpful resources. Sharing the pain wheel guilt free HE3267

Flare ups are particularly difficult times for you, but also those supporting you. This document discusses how ‘open and shut doors’ can be both symbolic and literal Open and shut doors HE3269

Communicating while you’re in pain and distress can be particularly difficult. For this reason, it can be particularly important to develop a communication plan ahead of time for when you experience flare ups. 

“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives” (Tony Robbins). Think about how you communicate when you need support. Although we cannot ‘make’ others do what we would like them to, there are ways of communicating that might make it more likely that we get our needs met. We can think of these as ‘helpful’ communication strategies. The following documents explore these in more depth:

Communicating about pain in the clinic and the workplace HE3279
Communication and pain HE3280
Communicating about pain with whānau HE3281

Listen to Stuart and others on what communications have helped them Listen to the communication stories

Tip: 

• Let others know how they can help
• Think about how you communicate when you need support. How do you communicate that you don't need it?
• Practice "I find it helpful when you..." sentences.
• Stay in touch. Although no-one’s experience of pain is exactly the same as anyone else’s, many people who are coping with chronic pain find that other people in who also experience ongoing pain can be more understanding. For this reason, it can be helpful to keep meeting with others who share the experience of chronic pain. We therefore encourage you to remain in contact with each other to continue to support and share helpful strategies after the course has finished.

Your pain kete has been filled with many tools and strategies - and just like a kete is made up of loose, that strands woven together provide a solid foundation, and we are hoping that you feel that your way forward is enriched with many new strategies that support you and what you want to move towards. 

This illustration was created by Sarah Wilkins to reflect a journey from life seemingly falling apart to stepping forward with confidence in the support created by the many interwoven strands.      

Kia kaha!