Power to Protect: Coping with a crying baby - HE2460

Caring for a baby can be challenging at times.

Although you will have lots of great moments, you may also have some worries about what is best for your baby. One of the hardest times can be when baby cries, and you can’t work out why. This can be very frustrating.

The six key messages

1. The call of the future: it is normal for babies to cry and it is the sound of our future. 
   Crying does not mean your baby is naughty. Check for a cause (see the crying checklist on page 5), but you may not find a cause for the crying. This can be very frustrating.
2. Walk away till you’re OK. 
   If you are becoming frustrated, put baby in a safe place (e.g. wahakura, pepipod, or bassinette), leave the room and close the door. Do something that helps you to de-stress and centre yourself. Check on baby, but only pick baby up when you’re calm.
3. Protect your whakapapa.
   Through protection of newborns, whānau safeguard their unique identity, protecting the fabric of cultural diversity and resilience. 
   Never ever shake a baby. 
4. Grow your baby’s tribe. 
   Only entrust your baby to reliable caregivers who will ensure a nurturing environment.
5. Share this information with all who look after your baby. 
   It takes a village to raise a child.
6. Awhi tautoko. Never be afraid to reach out. 
   Call someone important to you. Family, friends, support groups and online resources can help. If you think baby may have been injured, call emergency help (111) at once.

“After a few minutes away, I feel 100% better. I am calmer and happy to comfort her.”

Father of three-month-old baby

Getting help

Friends and family members

Your midwife, GP or Well Child provider

If you’d like someone to talk to, call:

Plunketline 0800 933 922

Healthline 0800 611 116

Lifeline 0800 543 354

Parenting Helpline 0800 568 856

Youthline for young parents 0800 376 633

Youthline Free TXT 243

Why not take some time now to list the names and numbers of close friends and relatives you can call.

If you think your baby has been shaken, get help straight away. Don’t let fear or pride stop you. It could save your baby’s life.

Phone 111 for urgent medical help.

Crying checklist

• Cuddle your baby
• Try offering a feed again
• Change the nappy if it is wet or dirty
• Make sure your baby’s clothing is not too tight
• Make sure your baby isn’t too hot or cold
• Burp your baby (wind pain can be very uncomfortable)
• Wrap and hold baby safely in a lightweight blanket
• Is baby tired? Put baby down somewhere safe to sleep.

I’ve done all this and baby’s still crying… now what?

• Hold your baby close, massage their back, sing, hum or talk
• Give baby a warm soothing bath or take one together. Never leave baby unattended in the bath.
• Put baby in a stroller and go for a walk or in a car seat for a short drive.

If you are worried baby is unwell, contact your midwife, GP or Well Child provider.

For more advice or help, visit:

Power to protect

Never Ever Shake A Baby | KidsHealth

Only leave your baby with people you trust.

Keeping your baby safe

Have a plan of what you will do if your baby keeps crying and you become upset or angry.

If you think you are becoming frustrated or angry, do not pick up baby!

Walk away

If you’re holding baby, put baby in a safe place and walk away. Leave the room.

Take a break

Check baby often, but do not pick baby up until you feel calm.

Try doing something that usually relaxes you, like a quick shower or a cup of tea.

Talk to someone

Call a relative, friend or trusted neighbour to give you a break.

Don’t be embarrassed. It’s OK to know when you’ve reached your limit.

For more advice or help, visit

What Can You Do When Your Baby Cries? | KidsHealth NZ

Power to protect (includes a link to a waiata which introduces TATI, an indigenous model of shaken baby prevention for Aotearoa New Zealand)